last night we watched julie and julia on dvd. i am not getting off the couch to give a standing ovation and i’d most likely not remember it by tomorrow, but i have to say i did get a few moments of realization watching it.

oh, and daylight savings time ended this morning.

please excuse the semi-personal tone and the randomness of this entry. inasmuch as i would like to maintain a considerable emotional distance from this site, my personal blog is not worth its own domain, therefore is still feeling the residual effects of censorship. so this one would have to feel the cathartic blow in behalf of its alter ego.

julie & julia

first off, its general consensus is right to give it good marks based almost solely on the performances of its main characters. second, passionate food bloggers are even more right: amy adams is so adorable as the julie powell created for screen that if you do end up falling for how julie is depicted in the movie, don’t read the actual blog. don’t search for it, don’t read what the critics say about her as a food blogger. don’t even read my next sentence if you can avoid it. she never claimed to be a good cook (and she isn’t: she cuts corners and omits steps under the pressure of a self-imposed deadline), she takes liberties with very acerbic remarks, dispells loads of profane language and was famously unfaithful to her husband (she even confessed that in a later book) despite all the beautiful qualities, qualities essential to the film, shown in his character. you’d get the feeling of (spoiler alert here!) of julie when she was disillusioned by julia child disliking her blog… that is, the endearing image of the person you create in your head will be wiped away by the real one.

however, if you didn’t like the whitewashed movie version of julie powell, then do read her blog; it might change your mind. she was an extremely jaded secretary releasing frustrations in her writing replete with angst. given to episodes of neurosis and prone to meltdowns. in other words, she was like you and me. and i think this is the reason why her julie/julia project was so darn successful: she was extremely relateable.

just before i pressed play on the dvd remote, i told my husband about the mixed feelings i have going back to the philippines in two days. i miss the philippines, but i will also miss fiji. i’m not going back for good, but four months is still quite a long time to be away from the life we just created. and, i have to admit, i went away in an attempt to escape my own demons. going back means i just might have to confront some of them… or i have to consciously ignore them, which is a gargantuan effort itself anyway. yet i am all over myself with thrill going back for reasons my close friends know well about… but even that would mean breaking some people’s hearts. this is life, folks, making tough decisions and taking accountability for them. our conversation eventually moved to turning thirty (which i did last year; no, i am not insecure about age, honestly) and how it should already be a milestone for something in one’s life. then i talked about meaning and mediocrity and the very absurdity of existence. yep, that’s how my mind rolls. if i cannot practice my degree in a university, i will practice it with my husband. i told him that the last few days brought me back to worn out times, the ones i have devoted to much dismemberment the past three years. so much so that while i was contentedly packing my stuff last night, i suddenly broke down when i realized i lost a pair of jeans. it’s like the insane parts of my life decided to take advantage of my mixed feelings and ganged up on me by hiding my favorite jeans where i couldn’t find them.

so in effect, i know how julie powell felt. many of us do. we know how it feels to be utterly exhausted and the idea of succumbing to the gnawing urge to get a life. julie’s way was to complete something by way of her blog project. my way is something else altogether. i am finding myself in a little group we put up and in this simple endeavor with my husband. and, very very much like eric was to julie in the movie, so is my husband to me. he motivates me to take on things and frequently reminds me to look on the bright side. so i wish him a happy birthday! just before he left for his weekend show on the radio this morning, he loaded new kids on the block on youtube because he knows i’m happily cheesy and nostalgic that way.

so there it is, we all have a little (or a lot of!) julie powell in us.

concluding daylight savings time

alright, last night, i saw julie powell experience the existential pang of bitterness at turning thirty without a significant achievement yet. i’m not sure if i felt that depressed when i turned thirty last year, i was too pre-occupied with fixing holes to be bothered by a number… but i know how she feels. i think i felt it last night with my pseudo-philosophical drone as i packed my bags. i am carrying only one piece of luggage on tuesday, but i carry a lot of personal baggage.

as i turned the clock back one hour at three a.m. this morning to end dst, i enjoyed the idea that i am gaining an additional hour today. another hour to have my nails done, to walk around the marina, to spend with my husband. an additional hour makes a difference. then something occurred to me………

how many times have you heard or read the phrase “30 is the new 20″? it sounds fun, doesn’t it? a perspective trend perpetuated by people who wanted to cushion the blow of approaching thirty. if you think this is just some frivolous way of thinking, think again (read the scientific abstract here).

sooooo…….. if indeed 30 is the new 20 and i just turned thirty around the time this phenomenon was documented, that means… i gain an additional decade, right?! it’s like turning back the clock at the conclusion of daylight savings time! you get more time to do the things you want to do!

people my age, we were twenty when the age of twenty was generally viewed as the transition to adulthood, the time to make and learn from mistakes, to love and lose, to try over and over until our heads spin with dream-chasing. now we’re thirty when the age of thirty is the new twenty, therefore we have been given another decade to… well, do all those stuff again. does that make sense?? we get the decade of chasing dreams twice! circumstances have granted us another chance to make good in accepting responsibilities as adults. another chance to learn, to love, to dance!

am i making sense?

if you just turned thirty like me (or will be turning thirty soon), consider yourself re-commissioned. man, i’m so glad i turned thirty at this point in history.

d.s.t. photo from wtvr, julie powell photo from ecorazzi.