it was a new year, it was a new fetish. the one body part we want fat: lips. we want these puckers pouting like the mysteriously odd fishes we watch on animal planet. many girls want angelina jolie or beyonce lips. excuse me, i want mick jagger lips, or maybe jay-z, since we also mentioned beyonce.

the best way to do this is collagen injection. but for people who are not that desperate, scientific innovations in beauty have been established to serve those of lesser means. we have non-invasive lip treatments in tubes, all promising the same effects as collagen injections, all guaranteeing satisfaction. of course, i don’t believe that drivel, but where’s the enthusiasm without a little faith, right? so i decided, what the hell, might as well invest in something if i want hope for these scrawny lips.

first, i tried a low-risk investment.

sally hansen lip inflation (www.sallyhansen.com)

lip inflation comes in a no-nonsense package, and at less than php400.00 a pop, it wasn’t a difficult decision.

pros: it smells nice, it’s extremely shiny and the shade doesn’t overwhelm. in fact, it’s so sheer, it’s translucent, but i suppose that’s the idea. it makes your lips look silky smooth and soft, no wrinkles nor cracks. i like the cooling minty feel and the wet look it provides. ideal for everyday wear, if you can tolerate the cons.

cons: very goopy. if you’re the type who slathers for maximum shine, i should warn you that the product will run into the corners of your mouth after a few minutes, making you look as if you’re gathering spit. so a little restraint for over-glossers like me. during windy weather, your hair will stick to your lips as if you applied honey on them.

does it work like it says?: my lips did look more shapely and defined in photos, but that can also be an optical illusion. you see, lip inflation shimmers in golden tones, not silvery like most lip products. i read somewhere that gold gives the illusion of fullness, perhaps thus the lip plumping effect.

all in all: worth it for the price i pay. i use it for the everyday shine and moisture. will i buy another shade? yes, i would.

the next i tried was a riskier investment.

o-plump from smashbox. www.smashbox.com

the first thing i notice about it is it’s size. it’s too tiny for the almost php1,500.00 you have to shell out for it. but the features are very intriguing. its blurbs do mention the cursory plumping effect, but they stress more on its other characteristics. first off, it seems like a really smart one, with the sub-name intuitive lip plumper. i didn’t know cosmetics can have intuition. maybe later, other lip gloss will develop e.s.p. too.

why intuitive? well, it reacts to your lips’ natural chemistry. the product is actually a clear, viscous liquid (you know how your clear watery snot looks and feels like? the product looks and feels just like that), but once you apply, it turns into your own custom shade of pink that looks absolutely natural. shiny, not overbearing.

not at all goopy nor sticky, you can lip-lock with your man without fear. it also has that minty cool feel, which by now i have realized is actually the common feature of all lip plumping products.

does it work like it says? i can’t really tell. and i don’t have before-and-after photos yet to make a sound judgment. is it worth the price? for its features, definitely. for the size, no. would i consider it a good investment? i’ll sleep on this assessment first.

back to a more reasonably-priced lip plumper.

prestige wonder-full

 i like prestige lip glosses because they come in fabulous diva colors for when you feel like courtney thorne-smith or jennifer aniston in the mid 90′s. that is, all the color without the showgirl. i have loved prestige’s lip vinyl in the past, so in terms of color and shine, this is my favorite.

it glides on creamy, but not overly sticky. the color has good staying power, especially if you stay away from balbacua and humba for lunch. it doesn’t leave a serious mark on my drinking bottle and it doesn’t gather along the corners of my mouth. for a lip gloss with good staying power, this one is better than all the other long-wearing lip gloss i’ve tried, because it certainly doesn’t make your lips feel dry. but if you’re not accustomed to wearing color, this would feel pretty heavy.

it uses maxi-lip(tm) technology, the cosmetic treatment proven to reduce lines, improve moisture and fatten your lips with everyday use. i don’t know if i would also believe that it increases collagen too. ideally, with repeated use, this should give a semi-permanent plump. and btw, this is the same technology used in lip plumpers of bloom and pout. incidentally, all these three brands are found in your nearest beauty bar.

does it work like it says? like sally hansen, it also gives the illusion of fullness since i’m using a shade with gold flecks. i’m getting compliments from co-workers about how my lips look, so i suppose it does reduce lines and dryness. as for actual plumping, too early to tell; maxi-lip(tm) technology takes a few days before results are visible, so we’ll see. worth the money? at just below php400.oo, you bet.

here’s some bad news (for those of you who live in caves and don’t know yet): the cosmetics brand pout has ceased production. it had its glory days when celebs like j-lo, britney, beyonce and kate hudson were known to use its products. but the good news is: clearance on the remaining pout cosmetics in beauty bar.

pout plump

including the pout plump lip gloss. just under php500.00 from an original retail price of over php1500.00. now that’s a good bargain on a bad note…

pout plump lip gloss uses the same maxi-lip(tm) treatment as prestige wonder-full.

i am curious too how duwop’s lip venom lip plumping gloss works. i heard it works like magic mainly because it irritates your lips. you know, like applying siling labuyo straight to your lips. is this true? i haven’t bought it because it’s too tiny at nearly php1500.00. i have other obligations, you know. like mascara and pedicure, for instance.

come to think of it, i did try applying hot sauce on my lips. now this  is the best lip plumper in the market.

tabasco pepper sauce. www.tabasco.com

if you can stand the heat, try it (i love spicy food, so this is not a very far-fetched idea to me). your lips will swell within seconds. then just apply some lip balm to soothe your skin, top it with your favorite lip color, and you’re ready to go. although i don’t know if this is safe for daily use…